Sister act

I popped over to see my elder sister earlier.  It was her birthday last month, so she was due a visit.

Personally, I’d say she’s a miserable mare – and that’s on a good day – so I was unsure of my reception, and whether I should survive that without the need for a plaster or bandage; and should I receive a hospitable welcome, how many seconds or minutes to pass before she launches into one of her soap opera meltdowns:

‘You ripped the head off my favourite doll, you little bastard!’ she’ll blast, with her eyes firmly set on the best Daytime Leading Elder Sister in a Cosy Sunday Afternoon Family Reunion Award.

She’s jealous of our mother’s staggering collection of melodramatic awards during her long lifetime.  None of our siblings has the guts or heart to tell her that their own kids as nippers scooped more of those sort of awards almost in their sleep.

When you’ve been brought up watching the late great Pat Phoenix or the fabulous Anita Dobson, elder sister or not, she’s got no chance of awards coming from this direction.

Now my younger sister is a different matter.  She was a bit grumpy as a kid but as soon as she found herself a decent husband, she became a laugh a minute.  However, she was the long-suffering favourite of Mummy Dearest. 

If truth be told, elder sister is a tad jealous of the long-suffering favourite younger sister.  The younger sister had far more time observing the genteel art of getting the last word, as performed by Mummy Dearest, and long-suffering grandma, who never could abide being told how to suck eggs.

My younger sister, unlike our elder sister or Mummy Dearest, doesn’t have to throw a wobbler or even say a single word.  She just has to dart you a warning glance and the accolades fall at her feet.

Anyway, saw my elder sister who, surprisingly, seemed in rude health and civil tongued.  We ripped to shreds our several siblings and surviving parent; and she enjoyed a good whinge about her kids and grandkids, and quite a pleasant few hours it was.

I’ll have to check my diaries for the 1970s to see if it was the most pleasant of few hours spent with my elder sister.  If so, we must do it again just as soon.